milktour (milktour) wrote,

A royale with cheese.

A royale with cheese.
gen taemin/key +onew, r for some cracky imagery, 1226 w

---




"You're going the wrong way," Kibum says pointedly.

"W-what. Again?"

Taemin drawling: "Hyung, we're going to get lost at this rate."

"You're going to make me miss Jonghyun's wedding. My best friend's wedding. You think about that when you go to sleep tonight." Kibum props his legs up against the windshield. "O, no wait, you won't be sleeping tonight because we need to get to Jonghyun's wedding on time and if you do fall asleep on the wheel so help me God--"

"You're the one holding the map," Jinki grumbles in rebuttal, but it's too soft for Kibum to hear. Louder, then: "You said yourself you didn't want to go on a plane to get there."

"Are you kidding me? Don't pretend like you weren't totally relieved when I said that." Kibum's laugh is merciless, expectantly. "It's only because I know you're scared of air travel. I didn't want your sick all over me. Besides, I told you. It's easier this way. Taemin and I need to take a pit stop to see off one of our friends."

Taemin snickers a little in the back.

"Yah, what's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing."

There's suddenly a lack of words, so on instinct Jinki reaches his hand over to the radio and tunes in; it's a few more hours until 1am in the middle of a main road when Kibum suddenly jumps out of his seat, pointing to the left.

"There! Go over there."

Jinki slows down, but makes no move to turn. "Uh, I don't think anyone lives there. It's just the riverside, ri--"

"Just do it, would you?"

So he shrugs and obeys, parks at the river mouth, the front facing away.

"Pop the trunk for me-- you stay here." He says, opens the car door and leans back in--"We'll be back in a bit"-- before disappearing to the rear. Jinki dutifully clicks open the boot as Taemin grabs his backpack and follows suit, stepping outside.

"You can help us if you want, hyung," he says beforehand. "It'll get things done quicker."

Jinki can't see much from the rear view mirror, except a Taemin and a Kibum peering into the rear of the car-- Kibum's car, which he finds himself driving out of Kibum's unwillingness to pay attention on the road-- and he is more than happy to let them go about their business, but then Taemin begins taking out raincoats to put over their suits, and he thinks, Well, it's not even raining.

Which is enough to pique his curiosity. Jinki steps out from behind the wheel.

He's halfway through "So what can I do to help?" when he peers into the rear, which is enough to cut him off for a lifetime.

There is a body in the trunk.

From what he can make out: the subject is male, but whose body it is at the moment is still in question. The face doesn't register anything in his memory, but it's just on accounts of the lack thereof; only a gaping hole in the eye and bits of skull and brain and retinal fluid dribbled across the front of his polo, and then scattered around the trunk. Like the butcher store in the summer time. The leather trunk is glistening.

"U-um," he splutters. "That's a dead guy."

Taemin suddenly scowls, turning to Kibum. "Dang, I forgot to bring Jinki-hyung a raincoat too."

Which is the biggest dilemma to date. Kibum pushes at Taemin's temple with his index finger before adressing the situation at hand. "It's okay, Jinki. You can still help. Just get some rocks by the riverbed-- not puny-type pussy rocks, but big rocks. Got it?"

And Jinki's lost most of his senses by now, so his only instinct is to obey. He rolls up his pants, takes off his suit jacket and neglects the removal of his shoes, steps into the water. Jinki searches around in the dark of the water until he can trace the outline of rocks that fit Kibum's description; then he pulls them out, lays them at Kibum's feets. He's trying his best not to look, but a corpse in your peripheral vision always beckons a second glance: he only notices now that it is wearing no shoes, and that the limbs are demented, twisted and cracked back and misplaced.

"We just need four rocks," Kibum says. "Don't go crazy."

After Jinki's done his job he takes a few steps back to recollect himself. Taemin withdraws a coil of rope from his bag while Kibum pulls the body out of the trunk-- he continues talking out of habit as he helps Taemin tie each rock to a limb.

"The thing is, bodies float. Making someone 'sleep with the fishes'-- or whatever-- isn't easy. You don't just chuck the body into the water and expect it to sink." Kibum turns around to give Jinki a stern glance in the middle of attaching a rock to the left ankle. "You have to get big rocks to weigh it down. Trust me on this. Don't forget, or the next time you try to hide a body it won't be pretty."

"Which is exactly what Jinki would be trying to do, right hyung?" Taemin laughs, which results in one of Kibum's death glances ("This boy is getting more disobedient by the minute").

The thing is, though, that a whole section of the skull is missing-- Jinki can see it clearly now that his eyes are adjusting to the dark-- and the jerking movements as Taemin secures the limbs with his scout boy knots are sending bits of cranium across the ground. There isn't nearly enough blood; Jinki mutters this faintly, in which Kibum responds, "Old job, duh."

Of course.

It's a conundrum picking up the corpse. Taemin at the torso and Kibum on the opposite end-- to Jinki's surprise Taemin holds his own better than Kibum, who is having trouble keeping the legs raised above the ground.

"On my count," Kibum says, voice strained. "Ready?"

Taemin nods.

"One--" one swing, "Two--" two swings, and while the body is gaining momentum some frontal lobe flings into Jinki's face-- "Three!"

The body is flung into the river. It splashes big, but then the water closes over, and when Taemin and Kibum have thrown away their raincoats it's like there was never a dead guy in the first place.

Taemin and Kibum begin making their way back to the car-- Taemin out front and Kibum trailing behind, but then Taemin pauses as he passes, tapping his cheek.

"Um, hyung, you have--"

Jinki reaches up; his fingers meet something that squelches upon contact.

Kibum has already gotten into the front seat when he registers the sound of something hitting the dirt. He rolls down the window and pokes his head out-- surveying the tableau, Taemin is looking down, nudging Jinki's thigh with the tip of his shoe.

Because he's fainted. Of course.

"We should get rid of him too so there's no witnesses," Taemin says, nonchalant. "I say we chuck him in the river with the other one. I'll take the legs this time, you take the front. No one will miss him at the wedding."

Taemin has already picked Jinki up by the ankles. Kibum stares at him blankly; Taemin makes a face.

"What? What. I was just kidding. Honest."